Monday, July 13, 2009
Does it exist?
I'm knee deep in the "Twilight" series, and it got me wondering...does a love like Bella and Edward's really exist? Are there two people in this universe who meet and time stops, and regardless of circumstances, situation, or flaws they are so drawn to each other one cannot imagine existing without the other?
In reading this first book I'm inclined to wonder will I ever feel this way or has anyone ever felt this way about me? Loving me so absolutely that I am his life or he is mine. That I would love him above and beyond all understanding. That no level of warning or fear for my own life could keep me away from him, and he with every fiber of his being will give his very own life for me should the circumstance arise. Love that looks beyond secrets, lies, flaws, and imperfections. Knowing that any and everything I've ever done wrong in the past is now forgiven, righted and wiped clean from my slate.
The kind that makes him always wonder where I am and makes me always wanna be where he is. The kind so strong even his family embraces me fully so as to ensure his happiness for they do not want to have to look into his eyes if I am no longer in his life. The kind of love that makes every other beautiful woman pale in comparison to me, and no man holds a candle to him. Trust me, I want it to be reciprocal.
The kind of love that makes me feel as though a part of me is missing when he's gone and I only feel whole when his arms are wrapped securely around me and I can feel his breath on my neck. The kind of love where his eyes hypnotize me, his touch sets my body and soul on fire, and his kisses nearly bring me to my knees. I want it. Where no matter what I feel I can tell him without fear of judgment or reproach and he can do the same. Where his love for me is obvious to every person within 100 miles of us. The type of person who giving birth to each of his children would be my honor and gift to him while I make no concern with my health.
The kind of love where his essence and mine are unified no matter how far apart we are. Love without question, fear, or doubt. Timeless, ageless, and unconditional love. The love of fairy tales and fables; of love stories and tragedies; of real life with a hint of romanticism. The kind that my children's children's children's children will be talking about for eternity. The kind that inspires people to be in love. The love that comes with absolute certainty and commitment that I am his and he is mine. The kind I do not have to guess or wonder about, because he is confident enough to keep me in the know and share his feelings every day not because I want him to, but because he cannot contain it. I want to compose lyric after lyric about him and it flow so freely from my fingertips it seems as if it were written a thousand times before. I want a love like Bella and Edward's, but I have to wonder...does it exist?