Have you ever had a cut and out of sheer curiosity; or sheer stupidity you decided to sprinkle a little salt on it? Well, being the precocious child I was. I did. I had heard my grandparents mention "pouring salt on open wounds". At that time I was unable to grasp the context in which they were using it so I thought I was gonna heal myself by pouring a packet of salt on an freshly opened cut I had received from falling on shards of broken glass.
I had to be 13 at least. Trying to prove how "smart" I was. I poured packets of salt onto a saucer and firmly placed my hand where the gash was onto the seemingly harmless pile of salt. I figured it was probably gonna sting, I mean all meds do; but nothing and I mean nothing could have prepared me for the pain I felt. I started running around screaming and yelling. I was holding my hand out crying, no one was able to make sense of what I was saying or what had happened.
But I swear my grandma was omnicient, because by the time I made it to where she was, she immediately looked down at my hand. Ran me all the way to the bathroom and begin to rinse my hand off. The cool water didn't help at first but eventually it began to soothe the pain some. Blood kept gushing out (I'm a free bleeder). And it hurt, but a whole lot less.
Once she had brought me down from hysterical to those low sobs she said, "Chile now what possessed you to put salt on an open wound?" I said, "well I was trying to heal it so you didn't have to take me to the doctor, cuz I don't like needles." I dropped my head and she paused for a second. Looking for the right words I assume, and said "Bel fam (pretty girl in creole), salt is a preserver not a healer. If you put salt on an open wound that means you want to keep the wound open. When I was a little girl we used to wrap meat in salt so it wouldn't spoil."
"But mommie, I heard you say put salt on an open wound." She laughed, "That's what you get for being in grown folks business. What I said was put salt on an open wound if you want to and you will never get better."
I turned red.
She began to bandage my cuts quietly. Then all of sudden she started to talk again. "oiseaux petit rouge (little red bird in creole), in life you must always remember never throw people's wrong doings in their face especially if they are trying to do or be better. Especially if you want to see them better. If you keep reminding a former thief about how much he has stolen from you, you may kill his growth. He feels no need to change because he knows you will never treat him or see him differently. While you may remember it, you should scarcely, if ever bring it up. What's the point in changing if it is never recognized? If you have someone in your life who seizes every opportunity to remind you of the old you then you need to cut them loose."
The funny thing is, all these years later I still remember that conversation. And over the course of my life, I've made a concious effort to always be mindful of what she told me. That's why I am so non judgmental of people and circumstances. I rarely, if ever, throw things in people's faces, because that's just not who I am. I believe there is good in all people and I look for it. I know I've done a lot of wrongs but everyday I try to be better. I can't lie it's hard especially when your past is constantly looming over you, but harder still when someone is launching your past in your face every other chance they get.
While I lean more towards forgive and forget not everyone feels the same, and that is alright too. What I can tell you with absolute certainity is every time you keep telling your man/woman about who they used to be (when they are trying) don't be surprised if the old them resurfaces leading to the death of your relationship. Salt in an open wound hurts like hell and it will never heal; the same applies to your relationships romantic and otherwise.
In actuality, how far removed are you from the "old" you?
*Salt does not heal wounds, it preserves them. So if you're constantly pouring salt into open wounds they will never heal. They will only worsen until death occurs.*