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Sunday, July 4, 2010

The Need Addiction

Webster defines a need as: a condition requiring relief; anything that is necessary but lacking. He continues on to define an addiction as: being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something. (someone) In Roman times an “addiction” was a formal award by a magistrate of a thing or person to another person and their justification of slavery. At first glance the two may seem different, but if you look closely they are quite similar.

See the connection? Not yet? That’s ok I’ll pull it together in a minute. And let’s add in the ancient Roman’s definition.(For good measure of course.)

Needing someone makes them necessary; because we become abnormally dependent on them, in turn we are metaphorically awarded to that person as we cannot function without them.

Pathetic existence huh?

I’m not saying there is problem with needing help or needing advice. But I concur that the overall concept of need in turn causes problems or it least it can become one if not controlled. Moderation in all things is my motto, but what happens when moderation is not an option? What happens when you have allowed yourself to become dependent on someone so much you are no longer two but one? What if it happened without your carnal knowledge? Is this need addiction void when you become married? Is it a requirement of marriage?

Battling need addiction is such a dilemma, because controlling one’s emotions is a chore in and of itself, especially when a large part of your well being has merged with someone else. And if you could “control” it; it wouldn’t be an addiction now would it? So does that mean going to “rehab” to purge oneself of the source? And while it can be done, is the withdrawal process worth it? Because aren’t we going to go right back and create another addiction and/or need and have to repeat the cycle? It’s like going to rehab for cocaine; getting clean, then going out and smoking crack. Trading one for another is a cycle. Can it be broken?

In that case are we truly any different from any other addict who we tend to look down upon? Because if you think about it we go through very similar motions.

Is needing someone more acceptable when it is consensual and mutual? But what happens if one person’s needs overwhelm the other? Or what happens if one becomes “needy”? Submitting oneself to our emotional needs weakens us. Or does it empower us because we can rightfully identify what/who we need?

Personally, if ever I admit needing someone that’s a feat in itself. I may have just as well said “I l-l-love you”. (See how hard that is for me?) I mean, who wants to be an “addict”? Walking around tweaking and scratching; feening for the next hit.

People fail you, so should we be willing to take the risk? Or should we lean primarily on our own devices and learn to need ourselves? Only allowing people in; in extreme circumstances?

What say you?

*Please enlighten me*

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